Some of you may already know that I have accepted an offer to join the team of Adorama, after almost 15 years with J&R. I have only worked at one other place prior to J&R and that was for RCS (Rockwell Computers, at the time.)

J&R has built an empire from one tiny store. Their story is inspiring. If you don’t know their story (or even if you do) watch this video.

It was an honor working with them.

I have been blessed to work for and with amazing leaders and visionaries both at J&R and at RCS. I cannot forget the human side of those I worked with and for, they have all been exceptionally kind and generous, in their advice, time and in their belief that I can do and accomplish great things.

They saw in me something I could not, and nudged me into positions which would broaden my horizons and test my mettle. For this and for so many other things, I am and will remain forever grateful.

Last night, a group of my co-workers took me to a local restaurant, where we celebrated our time together at J&R. It was a beautiful event, with the best group of people one could wish to be associated with, in the whole world. A good time was had by all.

My last 15 years are a tapestry of experiences woven together, into a warm mosaic blanket, which I will carry around in me to warm my heart and soul, forever and ever.

It was an emotion filled evening. I don’t think I have been this emotional since Rick Flair and Undertaker hugged in the ring or since Simon Cowell cried on American Idol.

I don’t know half of these people half as well as I would like and I didn’t care for less than half of them half as much as they deserve. I expected to stay at J&R for the duration of my working life, and did not spend as much time as I should have, on learning more about what makes them tick, what makes their days brighter and their future more promising.

Now, as I transition these relationships from constant contact to one with longer distances in time, I will do my best to make them more meaningful and mutually enriching.

As I go now to write the next chapter in the book of my life, at Adorama, I take with me the hundreds of friends from J&R and RCS, and look forward to making many new friends, in the future. As Mitch Albom says, “Strangers are just family you have yet to come to know.”

I am excited about the opportunity for a new canvas on which I can create a new masterpiece. As the saying goes: Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.

So, in the words of the great Dag Hammarskjöld: “For all that has been – Thanks. For all that shall be – Yes.”

Leaders are optometrists, who help people with “vision” impairment to see better and clearer. They help see the mundane as worthwhile and the impossible as possible.

Helping someone see better with glasses or contact lenses, could help save lives. The person could see the traffic better and could avoid pitfalls and danger.

The same is true of a leader and mentor. When they help see things differently, they save lives. They save people from drowning in self pity, bitterness and a belief that they have accomplished nothing and will accomplish nothing in their lives.

The Urban Dictionary on self-pity writes: ”Self-pity is easily the most destructive of the non-pharmaceutical narcotics; it is addictive, gives momentary pleasure and separates the victim from reality”

Self-pity is marked by habitual failure and even refusal to think of, the things for which one should be grateful. “I wish I was never born” is commonly thought and said by these people. It is also marked by the habit of concentrating one’s inner thoughts and attention on one’s own troubles, or on one particular cause for sorrow.

Those who wallow in self-pity, see only black. They see no good or positives in their lives. Nothing good is possible and everything they do is jinxed and doomed from the outset.

These attitudes, become self fulfilling prophecies, as the person does not apply him or herself to creating a positive reality. They do not invest the time and energy necessary to build the ladder to success rung by rung, and to climb it rung by rung to the very top. And then add another rung, and continue upward.

Instead, they start at the bottom and continue down, digging themselves deeper and deeper into a rut, from which it is increasingly more difficult to emerge.

Leaders see a different reality. They see things as they should and could be.

The leader must then inspire others and hand them a new pair of glasses or contact lenses, which will help change the color of their world and future, from black to rosy and the bright colors of the rainbow. This will help them see a brighter future, possibilities that were missed in the past, pitfalls which could be avoided and and they could finally see all the good things that happened in their past which they were unaware of.

Who is a leader, you ask. Why am I going on about leadership?

Leaders are not just those who run large corporations and have hundreds of people reporting to them. They are the everyman who work hard, do “menial” jobs and yet are my heroes.

Working in retail for many years, I have seen leaders in the most unlikely places. These people “saw” and “felt” things differently than the others. They had a clear vision of the importance of their work and the greater picture. At this point, I choose not to point out these wonderful people, because I work with them and do  not want to cause discomfort to them or to others in the organization. Instead, I will bring two examples not from my work experience.

During a visit to the NASA space center in 1962, President Kennedy noticed a janitor carrying a broom.  He interrupted his tour, walked over to the man and said, “Hi, I’m Jack Kennedy. What are you doing?” The janitor responded, “I’m helping put a man on the moon, Mr. President.”

This man was a janitor but did he feel that dejected? Did he decry his sorry and lowly state in life? No!

He felt pride and joy. He was fulfilled. He was helping put a man on the moon!

Amazing!!!

Life correspondent Hugh Sidey was present at a White House meeting in the early 1960s at which President Kennedy pressed his science advisors for answers about how to get ahead of the Russians in the space race. Sidey’s account isn’t exactly the feel-good Cape Canavaral story related above, but it is inspiring as well.

“One by one the experts told their stories. It was a discouraging picture of years and billions of dollars that separated the United States and Russia in space. Kennedy frowned, ran his hands agonizingly through this hair. ‘We may never catch up,’ he muttered.

“‘Now let’s look at this,’ said Kennedy impatiently. ‘Is there any place where we can catch them? What can we do? Can we go around the moon before them? Can we put a man on the moon before them? What about Nova (a giant rocket) and Rover (a nuclear rocket)? When will Saturn be ready? Can we leapfrog?’”

Sidey says that it was not much of a discussion. “Kennedy turned back to the men around him. He thought for a second. Then he spoke. ‘When we know more, I can decide if it’s worth it or not. If somebody can just tell me how to catch up. Let’s find somebody — anybody. I don’t care if it’s the janitor over there, if he knows how.’”

The Reluctant Astronaut (Image via RottenTomatoes.com)

[From Howard Simons's "Politics Powered Launch," The Washington Post, 13 July 1969, Pg. 105. Sidey presents much the same in his John F. Kennedy, President, 1963, pp. 122-123.]

You may remember the film, The Reluctant Astronaut (1967) is a Universal Pictures feature film starring Don Knotts in a story about a kiddie-ride operator who is hired as a janitor at the Manned Spacecraft Center in Houston and is eventually sent into space.

Image via Wikipedia

Perhaps you have heard the story of Christopher Wren, one of the greatest of English architects, who walked one day unrecognized among the men who were at work upon the building of St. Paul’s cathedral in London which he had designed. “What are you doing?” he inquired of one of the workmen, and the man replied, “I am cutting a piece of stone.” As he went on he put the same question to another man, and the man replied, “I am earning five shillings twopence a day.” And to a third man he addressed the same inquiry and the man answered, “I am helping Sir Christopher Wren build a beautiful cathedral.”

That man had vision. He could see beyond the cutting of the stone, beyond the earning of his daily wage, to the creation of a work of art—the building of a great cathedral. And in your life it is important for you to strive to attain a vision of the larger whole.

Vision without a task is only a dream. A task without a vision is but drudgery. But vision with a task is a dream fulfilled. - Anonymous

Want a true holiday spirit?

Imagine, if all of us in retail, stop thing that we are “selling, shipping, cleaning, producing, transporting, marketing, packing, serving,” and instead remember that we are creating or helping create an amazing experience for someone’s someone special.

We are creating a birthday experience, a holiday experience, a graduation or promotion experience… or we are just making somebody’s day, a wonderful day.

Does Starbucks sell coffee or are they setting the tone for your day? Watch this commercial and judge for yourself.

Does Wal Mart sell cheap stuff or do they help you save so that you can make your dreams come true?

Does UPS ship packages… or they do a lot more than shipping?

So, don’t focus on the tasks, just do them. Focus instead on the end result – the smile on the face of the person who’s day you are making better. Then, teach others to do the same.

P.S. As a bonus, I think this commercial is great, though I am not sure what it is about. You can’t help but think about how the story ended.

There was a time when I read every every self-help book I could get my hands on and listened to as many personal development greats’ speeches as my time allowed. I learned a lot about the “Secrets of Success” but there was something missing. While I gained much knowledge and I applied some of it to my personal and business life, I was still missing much of the advantages of my newfound knowledge.

Everything has been thought of before. The problem is to think of it again, said Johann Wolfgang von Goethe.

Thinking about an idea once is nice but it will not really change your life much, in a positive way unless it is acted upon. I realized, that I had not internalized all these nuggets of wisdom and applied it to real life situations. For these ideas to work, they must be applied over and over again, until they become second nature to us.

What I did to help me succeed at a higher level, was making a list of actionable items.

Whenever I read or listen to something, I keep my small notepad with me and I jot down the lesson in a sentence or two. You can do this on your iPad, as well. These get added to my list of ideas I will work on until they become me. Until they become my second nature.

You will find that after reviewing these ideas and applying them for a few weeks, the idea will become part of you and you will operate at a higher level. All you need is the the occasional reminder, which you get by scanning your complete list once a month.

Incorporate it into your routine. Take action. Become the better person, husband, wife, employee, co-worker, manager or leader you want to be. Then teach what you learned to others. But first, you must become successful yourself. You must be a leader in order to lead.

Bertrand Russell once famously said, that to teach Geometry you don’t need to be a triangle. This is true for Geometry but it is not true for success and leadership. People will only listen and follow a truly successful person.

Leadership and success is not positional, it is internal.

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Thanksgiving Day, is a time to spend time with family and friends; watch football and eat turkey and in general have a good time.

But as the name suggests, Thanksgiving Day is a day when we should spend some time reflecting on the good things in our lives and give thanks for it.

Most people live their lives with a perpetual black cloud over their heads, like Eeyore from the Winnie the Pooh cartoon.

Being happy, joyful and thankful or being miserable, a complainer and whiner – is totally up to YOU.

“Pain is inevitable. Misery is optional,” wrote Tim Hansel, the founder of Summit Expedition, a wilderness survival school for individuals seeking deeper experiences with themselves, others, and God.

“YOU CAN CHOOSE JOY. Life can be tough. Stress, disappointment, heartache, hurt-all are part of the human condition. But while pain is unavoidable, misery is optional!”  The freeing message of his book You Gotta Keep Dancin’ is that, no matter what your circumstances, you can choose to be joyful.

Tim Hansel speaks as one who knows. For more than 35 years he lived with continual physical pain, the result of a climbing mishap in the Sierras.  Tim doesn’t treat lightly the difficulties of anyone’s life. In his words, “this book is in no way meant to diminish the awfulness of pain, tragedy, and affliction. I don’t want to ‘celebrate pain,’ but more deeply understand the dignity of what can happen in it, through it, and because of it.”

I have so much to be thankful for. The title of this post “19,425,000 Things I am Thankful For” says it all (almost).

Do you remember the great song from the play RENT? In case you don’t, I am including the amazing lyrics of the timeless song:

COMPANY
525,600 minutes, 525,000 moments so dear. 525,600 minutes – how do you measure, measure a year? In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee. In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife. In 525,600 minutes – how do you measure a year in the life?

How about love? How about love? How about love? Measure in love. Seasons of love.

SOLOIST 1
525,600 minutes! 525,000 journeys to plan. 525,600 minutes – how can you measure the life of a woman or man?

SOLOIST 2
In truths that she learned, or in times that he cried. In bridges he burned, or the way that she died.

COMPANY
It’s time now to sing out, though the story never ends let’s celebrate remember a year in the life of friends. Remember the love! Remember the love! Remember the love! Measure in love. Seasons of love! Seasons of love.

While the song is wonderful, for Thanksgiving Day (and everyday should be Thanksgiving Day) replace the word “love” with “gratefulness.”

Gratefulness results in happiness.

“In daily life we must see that it is not happiness that makes us grateful, but gratefulness that makes us happy.” David Steindl-Rast

In my daily life I try to keep my eyes peeled for the myriad ways, I am blessed and spend a few moments “feeling” thankful.

My life so far consists of approximately 19,425,000 moments, being in my 38th year. I am thankful and grateful for every one of them.

I am thankful for living in one of the prosperous cities in the most prosperous country at the most prosperous time in the history of the world.

I am thankful for living in a democracy and in peaceful times.

I am thankful for having a steady job with good prospects.

I am thankful for living in a part of town where the crime rates are very low.

I am thankful for having slept through the night without any serious cares.

I am thankful for having no interest bearing debt.

I am thankful for my health and the health and physical and mental well being of my wife and children and my parents, siblings and in-laws.

I am thankful for being able to see in Technicolor and hear in stereo. Others can’t.

I am thankful for quiet time with my family.

I am thankful friends and their friendship.

I am thankful for wonderful co-workers.

I am thankful for Starbucks on every corner.

I am thankful for my grandparents, who are still around.

I am thankful for walking unassisted.

I am thankful for a great book.

I am thankful for a great song and for beautiful works of art.

I am thankful for the colorful personalities I meet everywhere.

I am thankful for the kindness of strangers (and those who are not so strange.)

I am thankful for a hot shower (which usually lasts way too long.)

I am thankful for the abundance of everything in every industry and store.

For all this and more, I am thankful and grateful.

This makes me happier, which causes the universe to send more good stuff my way.

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Many organizations have vision and mission statement, in which they write about what they believe the customer experience should be like. Yet, the customers have lousy experiences. Some are vague while others are more detailed.

These value statements may do more harm than good. They become a joke to the employees and the customers who see through it. Enron had a vision statement. It was “Communication. Respect. Integrity. Excellence.” So did McKinsey Consulting and others.

Get rid of these value statements.

If you want to create an atmosphere and a culture in which the customer is the focal point of every employee, then hire the right people for the key positions in the Company.

Does your Customer Service Manager live and breath excellent and unparalleled service to every customer every time? Does your sales manager lose sleep over the lack of progress of a particular salesperson or team? Does your Human Resource Director really care about the development of each and every employee?

And not only in key positions is it vital to have type A people who breath their missions. It is also important that the positions of receptionist, porter, cashier, greeter, and maintenance crew be filled with people who really care and take their work to heart.

Vision Statements and Mission Statements are wishes and you can wish all you want, it will stay a wish and the service provided to your customer will still be bad. Patrick M. Lencioni, founder and president of the Table Group, a management consultancy, reported: “I once asked the CEO of a Fortune 500 networking company to tell me one of his firm’s core values. “A sense of urgency!” he replied without hesitation. “So,” I asked, “your employees take quick action and hit all their deadlines?” “No,” he replied, “they’re complacent as hell, which is why we need to make urgency one of our values.”

Actions speak louder than words and if the words are different than the actions, it is better not to say the words.

They can be heard complaining:

Nothing is working for me!!

Where’s the damn train!!

The idiot burnt my bagel!!

I have to deal with stupid customers all day!!

My boss is an idiot!!

My wife just doesn’t get it!!

My kids are out of control!!

One of the reasons for this behavior and attitude is that we all have a need to be fulfilled, to feel that we are accomplishing and making things better.  We all spend a significant part of our day and life at work. Many even bring their work with them wherever they go, to make sure they stay miserable.

Spending most of our waking hours miserable and unfulfilled, affects not just our work but our personal relationships and life in general as well.

Sting, in his autobiography, Broken Music, tells the story of his early days struggling to earn a living and finding an outlet for his creativity. His writing is honest and hold important lessons for both employees and employers.

“After my time on the building site and my spell as a bus conductor, I decide I will try for an office job; at least I won’t be cold, it will please my mother and I can pretend that I am using what I cynically call my “brilliant mind.” I see an ad in the Evening Chronicle: USE YOUR A LEVELS, JOIN THE CIVIL SERVICE, and I apply in my best handwriting for a job with the Inland Revenue. I dig out my old school tie, my herringbone suit, my most sensible shoes, comb my hair and get the train to Manchester for a twenty-minute interview in front of a board of disinterested middle-aged men who ask me questions like, “Do you have any hobbies?”

I’m tempted to lie and say I like fly-fishing, but that will probably get me into trouble if he asks me if I tie my own flies, or what’s the best trout stream in Northumberland. Of course I could have said music, but I would resent calling it a hobby – an obsession, yes, but hardly a hobby. So I decide on walking as my hobby.

“And where exactly do you walk?”

“Oh, I’ll walk any where” is my less-than-inspired answer.

“Well, there won’t be much walking in this job, Mr. Sumner.”

“No, I don’t suppose there is .”

“And what newspaper do you read?”

As I am now in Mancehster: “The Guardian?” I say, which raises a few eyebrows, and I wonder if they think that that’s too left wing, “And the, er, Telegraph.”

“Very balanced, Mr. Sumner.” They know I’m lying.

Frankly, I reckon I would have gotten the job if all they’d done was put a mirror in front of my mouth and checked it for condensation – that’s how challenging the interview was.

So I drift into a desk job as a tax officer in much the same way that I’ve drifted in and out of the others. It is a miserable job for which I have absolutely no aptitude and even less interest… This soul-destroying job actually catalyzes me. I realize I must find a way to nurture my musical ambitions.

Sting started gigging  and spending more time on what inspired him and eventually became successful.

The result of hiring uninspired people is that although they are somewhat alive, when they start their new job, they quickly end up like zombies.

According to Wikipedia, Zombie is a term used to denote an animated corpse brought back to life by mystical means such as witchcraft. The term is often figuratively applied to describe a hypnotized person bereft of consciousness and self-awareness, yet ambulant and able to respond to surrounding stimuli.

Looking around me, I see so many “zombies” in jobs they don’t fit in and does not light them up.

According to the Gallup Management Journal’s (Gallup Study) semi-annual Employee Engagement Index:

29% of employees are actively engaged in their jobs;

56% are not-engaged;

15% are actively disengaged.

This is very sad. It does not need to be this way.

Organizations don’t do much to address this, because they are too focused on the bottom line. This is a big mistake. Employees who are fulfilled and are given chances to develop their creative side, at work, will nor only perform better in their core job but will be happier and more effective good will ambassadors for your company.

Organizations should develop an internal shared space, an intranet, where employees could collaborate on ideas and projects they are passionate about.

Cisco, Microsoft, Deloitte, Best Buy, Harvard use Intranet Wikis to create a deeper dialogue with their firm’s employees spread out amongst across many locations in the United States and the globe.

In 2008, Best Buy’s management team banked on the computer talent of its young work force to build an Intranet. In just 12 weeks, six volunteers delivered Best Buy Employee News, a Web 2.0-packed site that has employees talking, managers listening and all focused on the business. The site cost a fraction of what vendors quoted, but to executives, there is an even greater value: employees are interacting and getting involved like never before.

Best Buy began experimenting with social networking technologies centered upon the company’s intranet site. They started conducting weekly online polls of employees. They set up wikis for people with common interests to brainstorm together. They invited senior managers to participate in agenda-free town hall meetings. And they established a “listening chair” where employees could survey other employees on such questions as “Do you think the Geek Squad uniform needs updating?”

When they started listening in earnest, employee turnover stood at 81 percent a year. Three years on, it had dropped to 60 percent. Last year, it was down to 49 percent.

The 2006 Corporate Leadership Council – Employee Engagement Framework & Survey study showed a 59% increase in effort after implementing employee engagement initiatives

“A Company is a Dreamfactory…”, says Brad Anderson, the ex-ceo of Best Buy.

What an exhilirating concept! A company as a dream ”factory,” not a dream “killer.”

Now, this does mean that the solution is working for a progressive compny, although it certainly helps. The employee must feel engaged. The company must speak to the hearts of their employees.

In motivating people, you’ve got to engage their minds and their hearts. I motivate people by example and perhaps by excitement, by having productive ideas to make others feel involved.  Rupert Murdoch

The organization may be firing on all cylindars but if the employee is not an active participant, he or she will still be frustrated and will not realize their dreams.

Jean Paul Getty, the American Industrialist and Founder of the Getty Oil Company, is quoted as saying: “Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train. Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you’re just sitting still?”

Are you letting your employees sit on the sidelines, restricting their internet access, wasting their latent potential, which can ignite not just the individual but your organization and your customers?

So, for the takeaway…

If you are an employer:

Be choosy with who you hire. This is the number one role of a leader. Hire only people with dreams that fit with the dreams of the organization.

Create an environment where employees can collaborate on projects that move them and makes their heart flutter.

Engage the employees.

Invest in employee development by offering lectures in financial planning, health, computer and software literacy, etc. A happy, healthy and fulfilled workforce will help you deliver an exceptional customer experience and achieve business growth.

He/She may come late to work, cause drama or does not provide the kind of service your customers deserve. Maybe this employee was hired because they interview well; they have a what seems like a fun and outgoing personality. Early on in their career at your company, you notice certain things that bother you about the employee’s performance or attitude, but you wait and don’t have a conversation with them about it.

Fast forward 5 years… This employee is still employed by you and the performance and attitude has not improved – it probably is even worse at this point.

This is a very common mistake that supervisors and team leaders make. Don’t make this mistake.

When an employee is hired, there should be a period of 30 to 90 days, a probationary period, during which the proverbial  fit is evaluated in two ways:

1. that the employee “becomes” the culture of your company,
2. that he or she is capable of accomplishing the tasks he is expected to do and the goals she is expected reach.

The most important thing you can do to keep your team or organization moving in the right direction, is to monitor the new addition to your staff, during these 30 to 90 days and provide feedback and guidance, early and often.

I have seen this time and again. An employee is tardy and shows up late for work often. The first time it happens, the team leader will tell them self, that this is an exception. The second and third time, they will think about speaking with the employee but don’t actually end up having the conversation.

Not having the conversation within 24 hours of the infraction, creates the impression in the mind of the employee that this behavior is not considered to be a problem in this workplace. After many months or years of this behavior not being addressed and corrected, when the supervisor or maybe even the supervisor’s supervisor has had enough and reaches the breaking point, and confronts the employee, they are met with disbelief. The employee insists that he has been a model employee and if there was indeed a problem, someone should have pointed it out sooner.

The employee is correct and no action can be taken at this point other than beginning the corrective process at this advanced stage, by documenting the understanding that this type of behavior is unacceptable and that future incidents of this sort will result in further disciplinary action, up to and including termination of employment.

At this point, you have an employee who has already poisoned the air and attitudes of other team members and co-workers and who will continue to cause harm to the organization, during the corrective process.

The solution is simple. There is a famous English proverb, which is usually told as advice from a Carpenter or Tailor: “Measure twice, cut once.”

After the hiring process, measure the employee’s fit within your culture  twice and even three times. If he is a good fit, train him or her to be a perfect fit. If he or she demonstrates that they are not a fit for you, your team and organization – cut them loose immediately.

You will be doing a favor to this person, to yourself and to your organization. This person, who may have stayed at this job for a while and would have coasted along, miserable and making others miserable, maybe even losing you business, could have found another organization where he or she would have made a better fit and would have been happy and made others happy.

Jack Welch, the legendary CEO of GE, talks about the “false kindness of keeping underperforming employees for extended periods of time” in this interview clip:

  http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=QoQPs0_cbng

In closing, do yourself, your company and your new hire a kindness and fire them IMMEDIATELY, if they don’t fit well in your culture.

Spanking is in the news these days. In Wisconsin there is a hearing underway for Barry Barnett, a 43 year old pastor, who used a wooden paddle to punish his 12 year old for lying. There are many cases like this in the U.S.

But something happened that shook us up. Most of us have seen the video posted by the daughter of a Texas Judge, who is seen beating the girl, who suffers from cerebral palsy, with a whip. The video, which makes every decent human being wince, displays the image of a defenseless being, savagely beaten by a bully.

Children learn more from what we do than from what we say. We teach them that hitting is wrong. Yet, we spank and hit them.

I am a parent. Other than a few slaps on the wrist, I remember smacking my two children once, with my hand… harder than I intended. I am writing this, not because I am proud of it. I am writing this because I want to share the lesson I learned and the awareness I gained.

After, I spanked my child, I felt ashamed and confused. What did I just do? What did the little kid do that was so terrible? They are kids. Is this what I want them to do to their friends and to their kids, when they grow up?

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that while I loved my kids and wanted them to grow up to be good members of society, that was not why I punished them. The reason I punished them was simply, that I had lost my temper. Had I remained calm and maintained my perspective, I would have seen what my kids had done as adorable and childish behavior. It would have been an opportunity for teaching them right from wrong. Instead, I squandered the opportunity for a positive lesson and instead acted like a maniac.

Constructive criticism is an important part component of parenting. My challenge as a parent is to provide criticism in a constructive way so that

1. my children internalize the important messages that we wish to convey to them, and
2. the end result is improvement and a desire to grow, not increased friction and tension that may harm our relationship with them.

So it is important that the positive and constructive message not be hidden behind the static of anger.

There is a famous expression: “Revenge is a dish best served cold.” You could say that criticism is a dish best served warm.”

Criticism, done correctly, is a gift. It may be an unwanted gift – at least temporarily – because few people enjoy hearing criticism. At least I can have my kids accept what I say even if they don’t appreciate it yet.

From that day, whenever my kids did something “different”, I would remind myself to keep it in perspective and to really be honest about why I was upset. I found that  every single time, what unsettled me had very little to do with my children’s actions. Maybe it was a difficult day at work or at home, self-consciousness about the actions and choices of “my” children,  and other factors, not at all related to their future success.

Instead of reacting, I would think it through. I would wait a day or two, sometimes even a week. If there was still something I needed to discuss with them, I would. In almost every instance, the delay chrystallized for me that I was blessed with two angels. Not that they don’t misbehave or act childish, once in a while but rather that they are good at heart, empathetic, hard working, and will, over their lifetime, make this world a better place.

#in

I am writing this blog, because over the past few days, several people commented that I had lost some weight and asked what I had done. Maybe, this can be helpful to some of you out there, who would like to or need to, shed some weight.

I really made two changes, which are responsible for the changes people are noticing on me. The first thing I changed is what I eat for breakfast. I used to eat a pastry and coffee. The pastry was sized as only Americans size food. It was probably about 600 calories, which meant that I had blown a significant portion of my caloric intake for the day before 7:30am. Not to mention that the pastry provided very little wholesome nutrition value.

I resolved to replace the pastry with a yogurt or protein drink. The protein drink provides me with many important vitamins and nutrients and consumes only about 300 calories, of my daily intake.

However, I do allow myself some leeway on those days when I crave the pastry. On those days, I ask the guy behind the counter to cut the pastry into 6 small pieces. Having small pieces helps me psychologically eat only a small part of the pastry and I find it easier to not eat the entire thing all at once.

The other change I made in my routine is that I now take the stairs more often, to one of our offices on the 8th floor. Several years ago, New York City Health Commissioner Thomas Farley, launched an initiative to get New Yorkers to take the stairs. “If we engineered physicality out of our lives,” said Farley, “we can engineer it right back in.”

Stair climbing is a more efficient form of exercise than walking. Two additional minutes of stair climbing per day (approximately three floors) can burn more than enough calories to eliminate the average adult’s annual weight gain, reported New York magazine.

“A man’s health can be judged by what he takes two at a time – pills or stairs,” Joan Welch is quoted as saying and I am choosing the stairs.

#benlowensohn #in